Entry #9

From Sunday March 4, 2012:

There is a fine line between comfort and confidence. The outcome is illustrated through an individual’s self-perception. Feelings, behavioral traits, and emotions deliver one or the other when handling social interaction.  So what’s the difference?

Can one be more powerful than the other?  Yes.

Someone’s comfort zone is what he/she has established to let people into his/her social life.  How comfortable someone feels through social interaction takes place in his/her familiar environment.  This is an environment that he/she has created; something non-threatening, familiar, and consistent.  Along the lines of likes and dislikes, comfort is gained through consistent actions and behaviors that a person maintains in his/her life.

On the contrary, confidence consists of a person exploring someone else’s social zone.  Not fearing the challenges and differences, a confident person will explore this area in hopes and expectations of learning something new.  Social interaction is new each time, and explored on different levels.  There is a variety of exponential growth in a person’s social world with confidence, and this growth can be seen as productivity or progression in a relationship.

Measuring myself on a level of interaction, I would say that my social interaction would fall more along the lines of comfort.  Sub-comfort, at the best, would identify my style of interacting with the opposite sex.  I need my environment around me to feel productive in moving forward.  There needs to be that consistency and slow progression taking place for me to feel any success in a relationship.

Is this right? Is it wrong? I don’t think it is either right or wrong, just different.  History speaks for itself regarding why I am who I am, but the person I want to become does not have to be that different in complete comparison. Give and take the elements of my persona and create an alter ego, someone I can feel confident in becoming. This would be ideal. This would be unique.

Is it really that important to compare ourselves with others?  I don’t think it is important, but maybe interesting and intriguing?  People are different, and there is no disputing that fact.  I want, so badly, to experience a consistent level of accomplishment.  And I don’t believe anyone can help me reach that goal.

What do I mean by “level of accomplishment”?  I wish I could explain.

It’s not necessarily achievement, or a feeling, or outlook/mindset.  I really wish I could explain what I was looking for out of life.  It’s a journey toward a destination, a unique multi-level destination where only I can travel.   When opportunities are sought, and lessons are learned, am I traveling forward?

Goodbye for tonight…

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