From Sunday January 22, 2012:
I went to mass and dinner with my parents and grandparents tonight. The personalities and conflicts that my family shares are uncanny. Regardless of the past, I have a good time when spending times with these people.
However, I avoid certain contact for purpose of maintaining past memories and happy times. Is that a bad thing? Ten to twelve years ago, I would take many trips with my grandparents to my cousins’ football games in Columbus. We would leave after my college courses on Friday afternoon, and get there in time for the 7:30 pm kickoff. Following the games, we would grab some dinner and call it a night after the 90-minute drive back north. These were special times for me, and I’ll miss them.
Memories are what we make of them. These were good times in my life. Although the time was short, I enjoyed each minute with them. Even the arguments would seem to be overlooked at times. How can personality conflict prevent someone from getting to know someone else?
Our personalities can be barriers from getting to know new people. However, I believe that one’s inherited traits can be modified (if he/she chooses). For example, social isolation can be changed. But the person must desire the change to happen. Compare this idea with hypnosis. It’s been said that hypnosis will not work if the subject is not willing to cooperate. I hold this same truth in personality change. If a person wants to develop or modify his/her traits, and controls that desire for that change, it is possible.
Acting and Improvisation are great methods for learning personality change. Some people are terrified with public exposure and attention. But through these methods of interaction I am confident that these tools can be utilized toward exposing one’s weakness, and correcting an undesired personality trait.
This observation or theory serves only for a self-diagnosis. In my opinion, it is not for me, nor anyone else, to judge another person’s personality as good or bad. What are the benchmarks? No, it’s a self-diagnosis, and self-esteem builder. I need to always be comfortable with myself, and avoid what other people see or perceive. If I see something in myself that I do not agree with, I (and only I) can change that deficiency. But I shouldn’t judge my friends, relatives, or anyone else for that matter. And they shouldn’t judge me. We were all created in a unique fashion, which I’ll never quite understand.
Friendship can be seen as a relative connection between personalities. There are different personality styles, and people can maintain different varieties. I wanted to connect at friendship in this discussion because it is evident in my life that I am drawn to a variety of people and personalities. It’s disheartening that people and lives change, people come and go, and interests evolve with age. Or can this be good?
Throughout my life, I have made friends with people of many different personalities. Does this mean that I share these personalities, or does it mean that I am lacking these personalities in my life? Does friendship fulfill a void, or complement an existing element? In my opinion, it is a little bit of both. Without people in my life, challenging me to be different and natural (outside of my security box) I can be quite stagnant and boring. Sometimes it’s good to try new things. However, as I said, this idea works both ways.
For friendship to blossom and grow, personalities need to be realized and present. That’s what I believe anyway…
Goodbye for tonight…